Free Will! Part 2

"Push!" the nurse said, and I didn't have to think twice about it. She'd count to ten four times during each contraction and right from the beginning I just pushed as hard as I could. One of the best things Chris did was take over the counting duties from the nurse. He'll probably never believe me, but hearing his voice coaching me on at that point gave me more strength and determination than he'll (or I'll) ever comprehend. It was a completely surreal experience. Growing up, this was the part of labor I dreaded the most. How could you squeeze another human being out of your body? Turns out this was the best part of the entire labor experience (maybe the entire pregnancy). Pushing was actually a relief from all the pain, and I have to say I didn't feel any pain during the pushing phase until his head was almost all the way out and even then I don't think the pain lasted more than ten minutes and while it was by no means pleasant, it was manageable. A couple more pushes and he was out! One hour and sixteen minutes of pushing and it was awesome, every single minute of it. (Note to McKell, I remember reading your blog and you saying that giving birth to Evie was one of your favorite experiences of your life; I remember reading that and thinking, "She's got to be crazy, or masochistic or something! I can see being excited about having your baby, but ENJOYING the experience? No way!" I get it now. It was the most amazing experience; I actually enjoyed myself)

They rested him on my stomach and were wiping him off. I was barely cognizant at this point. I was so tired that in spite of the excitement and this brand new, beautiful baby right in front of me, I could have lain back and fallen asleep right then and there. But, of course, how could I even think about closing my eyes? He was beautiful! So perfect, and it didn't even occur to me to be grossed out by all the stuff he was covered in. Actually, I don't even remember seeing any gross stuff; just this beautiful, tiny little boy whom I instantly fell in love with. The next hour was a blur. Again, I was barely in my own mind for exhaustion. Chris followed Will across the room while he was weighed, measured, etc. I watched as Dr. Macy finished up the left over birthing business. 

Every night I have some separation anxiety as he sleeps in his nursery and I go to sleep in my bed, but that first night was the worst. It seemed inconceivable to me that, after having him sleep inside me for the last nine months, now he would sleep across the room in this cold sterile bucket the hospital referred to as a bassinet. 

I can't stop staring at him. He's so beautiful and sweet. We're trying to get the hang of nursing together; today's been a very good day for that. He's had to have a few jaundice tests, but it looks like the jaundice will be going away on its own, so I'm very excited about that. He's beautiful and perfect and I can't believe I ever lived my life without him. It occurred to me that likely (and hopefully) I won't have him for the rest of his mortal life; just the rest of mine. This makes me tremendously grateful for our sealing ordinances on this earth. I can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love my husband and little boy. I simply do not know what good eternity would be without either of them. They are the greatest blessings of my life. I'm so fortunate to have been raised by wise and loving parents; blessed to have good relationships with all my siblings. And now I get to create this family of my own. I guess as a writer I should try to verbally approximate how much love I have for my family. But words are mortal; they'd only cheapen my feelings. 

My favorite moments are when he looks me straight in the eye, like this.

Look at those handsome men! Chris was such an amazing support through all this. We even overheard my OB bragging (she didn't know Chris happened to be walking by while she was talking about him) to some nurses at the hospital about how amazing he's been. She called him a "rock star" for how great he's been with me during these last few weeks. I quite agree. Love you, babe!

Free Will! Part 1

So, let's be honest: This is going to be a long story and I'm a new, tired mom. You won't be getting the whole story in one sitting, but I'll update as I get time. So let's not waste any of that time and dig in:

A couple weeks ago I started getting super swollen feet and legs; my blood pressure was a little elevated, so my OB scheduled a potential induction for me, dependent on my condition the following week. Chris, sweetly worried about the possibility of pre-eclampsia, kept me on bed rest with my feet propped up which helped a great deal. Dr. Macy decided to postpone the induction a few days, until Sunday night. At this point I was dilated to just under a 2, and not effaced at all. However, I had been contracting more or less regularly for a couple of months. I had every sign that labor would start all on its own within a few days, so I was confident that induction would be OK. And I was very confident about the fact that I wanted the experience over with ASAP. So, Sunday night Chris and I drove up to the hospital, calm as could be, and checked in. They gave me some drugs to get the process going. 

In the morning, I was dilated to a 2 1/2 and was 60% effaced. So, Dr. Macy broke my water (WILD experience, btw). That put a whole new spin on the contractions I was feeling. They were very intense and not very much fun. Originally, thinking I'd be going into labor naturally, I'd wanted to hold off on the epidural for as long as possible, so I could walk and move around. Because induction can sometimes send an unborn baby into distress, mothers who are induced are hooked up to continuous fetal monitoring. So, I figured since I was bed-bound anyway, I may as well not be suffering and got my epidural right away. It was lovely and really helped me have a positive birth experience. For most of the day, Chris, Mom, Debbie, Katy and I hung out in the L&D room, watching episodes of The Office and having a grand old time laughing and making jokes about picketing the hallways with signs that said, "Free Will!" 

Around 4, all of that began to change. Suddenly the contractions were way more intense than they'd been before--and not even Dwight "Danger" Schrute was very funny anymore. My mom and sister left the room (Katy'd already gone to fly back to WA, as she had class this week) as my body moved into transition phase. At this point, I was dilated to a 7 and right away felt this overwhelming urge to push. Worse, the epidural just wasn't doing it anymore. I'm sure there was a lot it was doing for me, but up until that point I'd been enjoying this experience with next to no discomfort and I was very eager to see that continue, thank you very much. The anesthesiologist--who up to that point was my new best friend, like McKell said--explained that there wasn't much he could do for me at that point. He COULD give me a narcotic, but it would be administered via IV and therefore would get into the baby's bloodstream and make him sluggish. Thanks, but no thanks! I'll tough it out, I decided. 

Two hours later I just couldn't take it anymore. Contractions were coming quickly and every time I had to hold my body back from pushing. The nurse said she could have Dr Macy come check me out, but she doubted I'd dilated much more since they'd checked me at 7 cm. Did I want her to bother Dr. Macy for what could turn out to be nothing? Yes, get her now! A short while later, in came Dr. Macy, smiling and cheerful as usual. She checked me and said I was at 9 1/2 (take that, nurse! Actually, this nurse was awesome--the best I had my entire stay). Will was facing the wrong direction, so Macy wanted me to push a couple of times so she could turn him. When that was done, she said, "Well, that did the trick--now you're dilated to a 10! You want to push? Push!" 

So, with that, I've got to get going. Stay tuned for Part 2...

Knitting

For several years, it really started to bother me that I had no skills or talents I could do with my hands. I could analyze a novel and write a pretty decent essay about it, but I really didn't have skills of craftsmanship of any kind. So around Christmastime a few years ago, I asked my mom to teach me how to knit. It all of about an hour to show me the basics. I made a couple scarves before returning to SLC, and after I made a few more, I decided I wanted to branch out a bit. Knitting is one of those activities where, if someone teaches you the basics, you can pretty well teach yourself after that. I bought an excellent do-it-yourself guide The Knitter's Handbook and learned some variations on the basic stitches, which I practiced while making yet more scarves. Then, last year my good friend McKell got pregnant and I decided to branch out into the world of baby blankets. I bought another great book, Knitting for Baby, which has been very user-friendly for a beginner like me. I really liked the way McKell's blanket turned out so I figured I'd make one for myself! So, here, after weeks of knitting, are the fruits of my labors. I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. 

Here's one of the blankets, my first adventure knitting cables. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out; I used Debbie Bliss yarn. I love the color (which is not shown here very well; this looks rather gray, but it's a fairly saturated blue), but the yarn itself was difficult to knit with--the strands kept separating. Also, the yarn strand wasn't continuous within the skein--there were breaks and that was irritating because a strand would end in the middle of a row. This made it difficult to weave in the loose strands at the end of the project. I won't be using Debbie Bliss yarn again. BUT. I am happy with how it looks in general.

The pattern up close...

A truer likeness of the actual color.

This is the one of the same pattern I made for McKell. It looks funky in this picture because it's been blocked and laid out to dry. The blocking process is very important, I've learned. It helps hold the blanket together in a much firmer fashion. This is a very easy pattern that knits up very quickly and I find the simplicity of the pattern elegant and rustic. I used a different yarn on this blanket than I used for McKell's. The pattern instructions call for this knobby, somewhat stiff yarn, and even after washing and blocking, I felt that since the pattern is for a baby, the yarn should be softer. So this time around I used a cashmere and cotton blend. It's very soft and looks very sweet. I think this yarn is more forgiving than the yarn that the pattern calls for--hides my beginner's mistakes better. :)

A closer look at the details along the edges... also of our hardwood floors. 

So, there you have it! Yay for knitting blankets! Thanks, Mom, for teaching me how!

Belly

I love t-shirts, even when I'm not pregnant. In the middle of winter, at some point, I always feel like sweaters and long-sleeved t's are suffocating me. Every year about this time I begin to go out refusing to wear a coat (jackets are OK) in open defiance of the nasty weather. As far as I'm concerned, it's March and the earth has no valid excuse for producing a single flake of snow. So yesterday I went to the maternity store and blew the last of my gift cards on some new t-shirts, so now I can wear t's every day. Like the one in the photos to follow (my favorite style of maternity t, purchased at Motherhood Maternity). My friend McKell has been asking for belly pictures. So here I am, in all my 8-months-along pregnant glory:

Dummmm.......

Dummmm......

DUM DUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackface

So, lately Chris and I have really gotten into LOST, watching old episodes and bonus features on the dvd's I got for Christmas (thanks mom and dad!). To be perfectly truthful, "getting into" LOST doesn't quite describe it accurately. "Preoccupied," or "obsessed," are much better descriptors, as we've begun following a blog dedicated solely to analyzing the literature of LOST. We're talking serious, in-depth philosophical analyzation of a prime-time television show. It's not something we're exactly proud of. On the other hand, it's all in fun and provides for some stimulating conversation around the Tingey household. Not to mention a sense of solidarity when it comes to which characters the writers/producers will never be able to explain out of their evil ways (Ben and Locke's dad). One great resource feeding our craze is Lostpedia, a comprehensive online dictionary updated almost instantly dealing with ALL things LOST. This last week, as Chris was tooling around the site, he stumbled across a page devoted to what fans are calling "Jackface." Basically, Jackface is the term used when referring to the many silly faces that Matthew Fox makes while portraying the emotionally stunted Jack Shepherd. It was so silly and funny that we had to pass it on to whoever is reading this blog, because, well, you'll see:

"The classic Jackface"

"The Jackface of a hero"

"The 'wish I'd reconciled with dad but now it's too late and just a baseball metaphor' Jackface"

And a few more for your viewing pleasure: