Four Years

This week, Chris and I will celebrate our 4 year anniversary. So grateful to have this man by my side. I remember when I lived with my friend Jessica, we were discussing the Bright Eyes song, "First Day of My Life," and we were discussing the lyric, "But I'd rather be working for a paycheck/ Than waiting to win the lottery." When I married Chris, I was over the moon for him, but I felt we were very different people. I went into this marriage thinking I'd be "working for a paycheck," which in some ways is a great attitude to have; marriage is nothing if not hard work. What I didn't know--couldn't have known-- is that I'd actually won the lottery. All these so-called differences that I was convinced would matter so much just don't somehow. Other qualities, more subtle qualities, rise to the surface: the fact that I really can talk to him about anything, his inexhaustible ability to forgive and move past quarrels, an inborn need to be a good man/worthy priesthood holder, etc. I'm fairly certain wouldn't be nearly as satisfied with marriage if I had a different partner in crime.

And that's about as mushy as I'm going to get on the matter in a public forum. As I'm sure many of you know, how I really feel about this man is language unprintable. Not indecent, just... no one else's business. For his ears only. Ya know.

So, to be almost completely superficial about the matter, I'd like the mark the event with a Top 5 list. One of the great things about being different from your spouse is that your world is always broadening with new ideas, experiences, and--in our case--media exposure. When we started going out, I was pretty sure I'd come across "my" style of music, movies, etc. and that those preferences were unlikely to change. And yet if it weren't for Chris, I may never have stumbled across some of the most stellar and moving pieces of the music and film industries. I'd like to think I've done the same for him. After all, who can really live a full and emotionally healthy life without regular doses of Eric Clapton or Barbra Streisand? I shudder at the prospect of such a dark, gray world.

Top 5 Favorite Things C Has Introduced Me To:

(in no particular order)

1. Slapstick comedy: Before getting to know Chris, the only real slapstick comedy I'd seen was What's Up, Doc? A gem, to be sure, but hardly even the tip of the iceberg. Ever seen the Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera? Oh, friends, if there is no room in your soul for this kind of impetuous silliness, I really am very sad for you. This movie is so funny! I now also enjoy the old Pink Panther movies.

2. Bob Marley: Me? A Reggae fan? Who'd have thought. Though, really, I can hardly call myself a fan of the genre as a whole; Brother Marley has got some pretty jivin' tunes. And then there's "Redemption Song," a prime example of the sort of music I thought I knew all about--and yet, here was this song, so Becca-like in nature, and I'd completely no idea it even existed until one Christopher Tingey came along.

3. The Great Escape: For a long time, my favorite my genre has been the self-labeled category of "heist films." You know, movies about extreme sneakiness. Ocean's 11, Sneakers, Out of Sight, The Firm. Someone's trying to pull off some clandestine (usually illegal, at the very least dangerous) against-all-odds mission. I'd heard of The Great Escape, but never seen it. Now it comfortably resides in my top 10 favorite films of all time. James Garner? Steve McQueen? A bunch of dudes escaping a POW camp? Fuggedaboutit. Sold.

4. The Smith's: One song will change your life forever: "Girlfriend in a Coma." You don't know it? You should. Look it up on iTunes. Like, right now.

5. Watership Down, by Richard Adams: Don't think a book about bunnies could be very interesting? That's what I thought. Chris is not much of a reader. But one week I brought home this book from the library because Sawyer was reading it on LOST, and I was curious about the connection. Well. Chris saw it and got all excited. He remembered the cartoon from childhood. Next thing I know, the man is completely consumed by this book; won't put it down. So I was naturally very curious. And friends, it didn't disappoint. This book is beautifully written and thought provoking. Give it a whirl.

Just, You Know, Because

Well, I certainly appreciate all the positive feedback about my previous blog header, but our blog page is our home page, so every time I opened an Internet window, I had to see myself looking back at me. It was entirely unnerving. So. Here is my new, picture-less header.

I had a request from a friend a few days back to compile a list of the names we've been perusing, for her side-by-side comparison. Here goes:

1.) Ada Jane

Meaning: Noble, God is Gracious

Status: Out of the running

2.) Catherine

NN: Cate

Meaning: pure (Greek)

Status: Winner!!! Though, it must be said we still don't know if we'll name her Katherine and just call her Kate or actually name her Kate. But I think we like the K spelling the best.

3.) Elizabeth

NN: Betsey

Meaning: pledged to God (Hebrew)

Status: Out of the running as a first name; Elizabeth is still a contender for a middle name.

4.) Jane

Meaning: "God is Gracious"

Status: This was/is the #2 choice. We're calling her Kate full-time, but I woke up in a panic yesterday morning with a temporary but intense desire to call her Jane.

5.) Samantha

NN: Sam

Meaning: Hebrew, "Told by God"

Status: Out of the running

We've decided to stop adding new names to the mix. We like Kate a lot, and while Jane has more personal meaning, I'm having a hard time overriding a persistent feeling that this girl's name is just Kate and that's really all there is to it. So, Kate it is unless I start waking in more panics like yesterday morning. Your comments have been a HUGE help, especially in pointing out where there might be potential problems. Chris, Becca, Will & Sam simply don't go together. I like the clear simple femininity of names like Kate and Jane. So, there's that.

And a note to all my great-with-child-friends or family members: Don't let my name choice affect yours. Not choosing a name because I chose it is just plain silly. For the record, I'm not going to assume you copied me or were even inspired by me. I AM going to assume that your personal life journey led you to liking the same kinds of names I do, but then I suppose that would be obvious. I don't even care if this girl has a cousin with the same name. But since about half of my currently with-child friends have been named some form of the Katherine name, I'm guessing the likelihood of this is, in any case, slim.

And now, since the sky is currently making some sound similar to the smoke monster from LOST, and it's nap time, I'm going to snuggle up under a warm blanket and my copy of Bossypants.

Black Bean & Spinach Enchiladas

So, when I sat down just now, I WAS going to write my "Top 5 Dinners I Make" post. But it occurred to me that such a post should really have pictures, and I have none. Technically, this post should have pictures, too, but I really feel like writing about food right now. So. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to tell you how to make my black bean and spinach enchiladas and NOT post any pictures. But next week, I'm going to make every single dish in my top 5 in addition to these enchiladas just so I can take pictures (and eat some REALLY yummy food). And next week, when I post about my top 5, I'll tack on some pics of these babies, too. Ok? Ok.

I feel like the most important thing I should tell you about these enchiladas is that I did not think them up out of my own head. My friend Claire brought me a platter after I gave birth to W. She said she does something different to them every time. She's right. This recipe is very versatile. Eating them in their barest, stripped down form is very tasty--adding extra goodies just makes them even better. I'm giving you my ultimate, preferred, didn't-forget-anything-on-my-shopping-list, version.

Black Bean Enchiladas

6 servings

Basic Ingredients:

6 whole wheat tortillas

2 15-oz. cans black beans, partially drained

cumin

cayenne

chili powder

garlic or garlic powder

2 T dried, minced onion

Monterey jack cheese, shredded

1 bag pre-washed mixed spring greens

Toppings/Extras:

1 can enchilada sauce

sour cream

green onions

fresh cilantro

avocado

Instructions:

Place black beans in a saucepan over medium heat. Add spices and onions. I don't give you amounts, because I feel like seasoning is a very personal matter; it's just a matter of figuring out what tastes "right" to you. For me, the correct ratio is about 1 tsp cumin, 1/2 TB chili powder, two dashes of cayenne. If using pre-minced garlic, I add about 1 1/2 tsp. If using a powder, all I can say is just to go easy; it'll quickly overpower the other spices. Lightly mash with a potato masher; the key is to split some of the beans so that the fiber helps bulk up the sauce, but we want most of the beans still intact. Allow mixture to come to a boil, then turn heat down to simmer for about 15-20 minutes.

Lightly spray the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish. Place 6 whole wheat tortillas side by side inside, so that the sides help support each other, leaving the bottoms open and ready to be filled (like a taco standing upright).

Fill each tortilla with some cheese (again, I leave this to your discretion; I love cheese, so I put in as much as I can without feeling guilty...). If you are having additional toppings, now is a good time to prepare them, while the beans are still cooking. Place them in dishes and set aside. Top cheese with the black beans (about a 1/3 C per tortilla; you will have some beans left over) and the spring greens. Sometimes I like to run a knife through the greens beforehand to break them up into more bite-size bites; depends on my mood/energy level. If you choose to use just spinach in these, I highly recommend chopping first. The baking makes the spinach fibrous and there's just nothing worse (t0 me) than taking a bite of something really yummy and getting a long, stringy piece of cooked spinach... ew, I can't even think about it.

Next, one by one, fold tortillas and flip upside down so they stay closed. If using enchilada sauce, pour just enough to cover the tops of each tortilla (about 1/2-3/4 of the can; I don't recommend using the whole can--too much sauce can make the tortillas soggy). Top with cheese, and if desired, a few more black beans for presentation. Bake in a 350 oven for about 20 minutes. You want the tortillas cooked, but you don't want your cheese overly baked. Top with toppings and enjoy!

*Note: Normally, I'm a flour tortilla girl all the way, but the whole wheat tortillas adds an earthiness to the flavor balance that I just wouldn't mess with. The great thing about this recipe is that is super healthy, and it tastes super healthy in a really invigorating way. The whole wheat flavor adds to that healthy-taste vibe. Subbing flour tortillas is going to taste just fine, but it's not going to make you feel like you just ate something your body is loving. In addition, I like using the dried minced onions rather than fresh onion in the black beans, because I think they enhance the smokey flavors in the chili powder and cumin.

Heaps

Being a mom has been super challenging and super rewarding lately. On the one hand, the tantrums require thicker skin than I ever anticipated needing. On the other, this kid is so interesting right now. His vocabulary is positively exploding; he mimics everything he hears (you should have heard him say "Tonyburger" on the way to dinner tonight; he was channeling some serious Steve Martin a la Pink Panther).

I'm having so much fun planning for his 2nd birthday. It's not that I'm going over the top about things; I'm just inspired, nesting, and being creative. So excited to have family in town for the event, so excited to celebrate one of my favorite people on the planet.

A lot of moms get nostalgic and wistful at each passing stage; I am beginning to understand this sentiment. Up until now, every change has been so exciting, there was no space in my heart for sadness at the passage of time; it's been so fascinating to watch a human being develop right before my eyes. And I wouldn't say I'm getting weepy at what appears to be the end of another stage, but it's the closest I've come so far. This kid is downright infectious in his excitement and exuberance for life. I hope that's a quality that sticks with him for, well, forever.

However. It is suddenly becoming more real to me that he won't always want to climb up into my lap for a snuggle or to read a book; he'll understand at some point that he's too big to fit there comfortably. He won't always say "SORRY!" with such optimistic carelessness; he'll understand someday what it really means to hurt someone. He won't always want to give me kisses in public; he'll understand his friends are watching.

But now I really am waxing nostalgic, and I'd better stop. Onward and upward, I say! I prefer keeping the attitude that each new stage, each tiny progression is wondrous and exciting--and I need to let myself be caught up in the moment with him as often as I can manage it, or I can waste the present by living in the past. And I gotta tell ya, folks: the present is where it's at. Preserving the past and planning for the future are noble things, to be sure. But like a friend of mine posted a week or so ago, "life is for the living." We're here, right now, and I don't even want to blink sometimes.

The latest installment of exciting new adventures? W's big boy bed. This kid was running around IKEA like a mad man, crawling onto all the demo beds; good thing his favorite was ours, too. So far, I'd say he's taking to it like a champ. He talks about his big boy bed all day, sometimes announcing hours early that he's going to go take a nap in his big boy bed. Too cute. So fun to see him grow. Love this kid. Heaps and heaps.

Name #5

This week: Samantha

NN: Sam

Meaning: Hebrew, "Told by God"

So, I'm not really sure this name has any one real inspiration for us that we can point to. I had a friend named Samantha when I lived in NY as a kid, and Samantha was one of my favorites from the American Girls book series. But then, so was Felicity, and that is definitely NOT on the list. I'm guessing these favorable associations give me a positive feeling from the name. Really, it's just a name that we like. I think it's elegant and slightly tomboyish at the same time. Before I got pregnant, this was a name that I LOVED. Now, faced with the possibility of actually attaching it to a human being, I don't know... It's not that I have any objections to this name, but like the rest of them, I'm just not in love with it. The fact that nameberry.com has labeled it "overused" and on the decline deters me some. Apparently, it's just fallen out of the top 10 after being there for quite a while. Who knew? I don't know of any little girls named Samantha. And yes, to all Tingey relatives, we have cleared this name with Sam & Laura. :)

I'm starting to go into a name slump, people. A couple names so far have stood out more than the rest, but they're all seeming pretty lackluster to me. I wonder: Am I asking too much from a name? Should I just pick a name I like that holds some kind of meaning and be done with it? I will tell you: My biggest fear is picking a name that I hate, say, 6 months after she's born and there's no going back. Girls' names are much more subject to fluctuations in relevance than boys' names. I was worried about the same thing with Will--but the fact that Chris liked it so much made me feel better about it. And I have not once regretted his name. But so far there are no clear winners. I foresee a date with my name books in the not-s0-distant future, although, I think we still have a few names to go through before I'm willing to give up on my current list entirely. There's one name in particular that I'm looking forward to trying out. And keep your responses coming! Even negative responses are helpful. Something YOU say could help me cross a name off the list or catapult one to the top.